We understand: polygamy, polyamory and 5 more types of relationships

love art for three

Monogamy and polygamy – what else is there? On the Internet and in the media, we often come across strange descriptions of relationships that we have no idea about. I propose to dwell on this in detail and talk about all existing types of relationships.

Types of relationships

Monogamy

Monogamy is the creation of a relationship with only one partner for the long term. In monogamous relationships, partners meet, make love and live exclusively with each other. They do not extend their relationship to other people, but maintain romantic, sexual, emotional connections on an individual level.

We currently accept monogamy as the standard system for developing relationships. However, it is quite common in many cultures around the world to have multiple spouses. Historically, monogamy is a relatively recent discovery.

Dan Savage, an American journalist and LGBT activist, suggests three mechanisms for successful monogamous relationships:

  • Realistic

Dan advises people to be realistic. It is necessary to accept the fact that not all relationships end in a happy tale. About 50% of unions break up. And such an outcome is considered the norm, despite the opinions of partners about the global failure.

But let's consider this option. For example, couples can be in a relationship for several years and get along great together. After a certain period of time, one of the partners comes to the realization that they are not suitable for each other. An adequate solution to the problem is separation. But if the relationship remains mostly pleasant memories and feelings, is the breakup considered a failure? Is it really necessary to continue to make each other happy. Savage believes the answer is obvious.

  • Model – DPI
Understanding: polygamy, polyamory and 5 more types of relationships

The model implies the observance of three postulates: goodness, bestowal and play. To be kind means to have well-intentioned social skills, to be responsive and compassionate. Giving means giving pleasure to another and not expecting anything in return. The game includes the ability to diversify in all life manifestations. Dan recommends trying new things and getting out of your comfort zone more often.

  • Custom environments

People who are in a relationship for a long time tend to get bored. It is situations like these that require immediate diversity and revitalization. Savage advises to spice up relationships not only in the bedroom, but in all their directions: spending time together, walking, visiting and receiving guests. Rekindling the spark can be as easy as going for a hike or a bike ride. The key to an interesting and successful relationship is adventure together, not just a spicy intimate life.

To avoid confusion and uncertainty about each other, both partners must clearly identify for themselves what they want and what they strive for.

Polygamy

Polygamy is a relationship or marriage with several partners at the same time. Marriage polygamy, or polygamy, is found in many cultures and is still practiced today.

According to surveys, many people identify special benefits of polygamy for themselves:

  • Recognition by history and culture .
  • Freedom in love and sexual relationships.
  • Freedom in choosing partners.
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  • Minimum risk of infidelity and boredom in a relationship or marriage.
  • No need for commitment or compromise.

Historically, the practice of polygamy makes more sense than monogamy. However, this does not mean that the latter is wrong or unnecessary.

Polyamory

Polyamory is the presence of several love relationships, not always associated with sexual satisfaction. This type of relationship is not associated with religious beliefs or marriage. Although some polyamorous people are married or have registered commitments with their partners.

Those in polyamorous relationships emphasize the importance of open communication and equality between partners, whether male or female. Unlike monogamy, hetero- or homosexual, polyamory can combine several directions (homo-, hetero- and bi).

Polyamorists emphasize the importance of romantic relationships, not sexual ones. For them, observance of ethical standards and concern for the feelings of partners is sacred. Most often, representatives of such relationships prefer to meet with those who share their views. The search for one's own kind is due to dissatisfaction with one partner and the desire to experience the fullness of life.

Friendship with privileges

Friendship with privileges is a special kind of relationship in which friends are connected not only by friendship, but also by romantic or sexual relations. A common colloquial form of this connection is “sex for friendship.” However, the assessment of relationships depends on personal preferences and principles.

Dealing with Polygamy, Polyamory, and 5 More Relationships

There are several forms of friendship with privileges:

  • Romantic relationships that do not involve sexual intercourse.
  • A romantic relationship that involves a sexual relationship.
  • Friendship that does not involve a romantic relationship, but includes occasional encounters of a sexual nature (friendship sex).
  • Recurrent non-committal encounters after a breakup.< /li>
  • Sex between best friends who have known each other for a long time and are not in a relationship.

Despite the seeming simplicity of such a relationship, there are obstacles that “friends” face. These include ignorance of how to behave, dissatisfaction with the situation, the desire to start a relationship, jealousy. When anxiety symptoms appear, it is better to seek help from a psychologist and a sexologist. The decision to have sex for friendship is not an anomaly in society. It is a choice that is respected and accepted.

Promiscuity

Promiscuity is a type of relationship that involves sexual intercourse with different partners, or promiscuity in choosing a partner. A typical example of this behavior is one-night stands with different people, or sex with multiple partners over a period of time. Historically, a woman's promiscuity has been seen as overly immoral and not accepted by society. At the same time, the man's promiscuity and a solid list of mistresses gave him status among friends and the title of “stallion”.

American studies conducted in 1980 showed that men are ready to have sex with unfamiliar women of average attractiveness and under any conditions (perverted desires, BDSM) and in any place.

Understanding: polygamy, polyamory, and 5 other types of relationships

Women, on the other hand, are more selective. Signs are important for them: appearance, height, clothes, voice, demeanor, character. Impulsive promiscuity is more common in people with a symptom of borderline personality disorder, theater people, narcissists.

Sologamy

Sologamy represents a relationship or marriage with oneself. The direction is actively gaining momentum and over the past century has united hundreds of “lucky ones”. Common reasons for this behavior are:

  • Psycho-emotional disorders.
  • Dissatisfaction with modern society.
  • Unwillingness to share one's life with a partner.
  • Narcissism
  • Fear of social or sexual intimacy with another person.
  • Super desire for freedom.

Proponents of sologamy believe that they can find happiness only in unity with oneself. They do not recognize interference in their lives, either in the social or intimate sphere. Marriage registration for sologamists follows the same format as for monogamous couples.

Despite the legitimacy of these types of relationships, not everyone shares them. Still, the established norms of human relations are monogamous and polygamous marriages. Which direction to choose depends on the person. The main thing is to be happy yourself and make your partner happy.

It's possible to love two people?! Polygamy. Monogamy. Psychology. Psychotherapy

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Family psychologist. For 8 years I have been saving "family cells" from disintegration. I help couples regain love and understanding.

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