How to refuse a man and not spoil the relationship – this question is often asked by girls who, due to circumstances, are forced to correctly say no to intimacy. And in this case, there are subtleties and nuances.
How not to deny a man intimacy?
If you value relationships with a certain man, you should know how not to refuse him and thereby not spoil them.
1. You show incontinence turning into rudeness.
Undoubtedly, you are very tired of his excessive attention, and therefore you have the full right to your own, personal and inviolable space. But here impudence, even in its hint, is unacceptable. Why is that?
- First of all, you are a girl and you should not denigrate your own image in the eyes of other potential gentlemen.
- And one more thing – if he chose you as his own, indivisible object of worship and adoration, then he has exactly one plus. This is his good taste.
2. Do not go over to personality flaws.
The very female refusal for a man — this is a serious blow below the belt, in his pride, which can discourage him from approaching girls for a long period of time. Do not try to make the situation worse – there is no need to explain and tell, putting it on the shelves, why you did it. A man himself knows about his disadvantages.
3. Sorry
When you are dealing with an adequate man, you should not show pity for him. The last thing a strong personality wants to see is in your words and actions. And therefore, an attempt to regret, as if smoothing over one’s guilt, will only make it much worse, both for oneself and for him. It will destroy his dignity.
And to refuse a man and not spoil the relationship – to prevent this. Therefore, analyze everything that you will voice to a man and do not allow them. Men, and especially the wounded, are very vicious and vindictive enemies, so never enter into such a fight with them.
Refusing gently and properly
First of all, prepare in advance the phrases with which you will “excuse yourself” from the annoying gentleman. There can be a great many options for such phrases – you yourself choose, depending on the situation and the reason for refusing the attention of a man. But most importantly, remember the three basic rules.
1. Always speak convincingly.
It is a frank conversation – not a business report, but a confident speech is the guarantee that the refusal will be accepted. And psychologists themselves say that it is the tone and how we speak that matters for a man more than what we say. Try to convince the man that you are completely different and that your paths will not intertwine without resorting to affectation, winding curls around your finger, half-smiles, and so on.
And one moment. You should not invade the intimate space of a man – hug him goodbye, touch him or kiss him. A man will appreciate this non-verbal sign as a call to action and who knows … .. It may end in sex.
2. You shouldn't make empty promises
Having chosen the right speech to refuse a guy, immediately cross out such phrases from this list as:
- I don't see a serious relationship between us in the future yet.
- Let's not tread.
- Not here and now.
- Maybe I'll think for a while.
So you definitely won't just cool down the excitement of your chosen one – it is most likely the opposite, it will annoy him and it will be very difficult to stop him later. Try to be as honest with him as possible – many men consider this quality to be positive, because parting will not be so painful.
3. State a valid reason for the refusal
The issue of refusal to the gentleman will be easier to resolve if in a conversation you provide him with undeniable arguments that can and will defend your position. But the very reason for the refusal also has certain requirements:
- It must be respectful and believable. Banal refusal will not work if you really do not want to offend your man.
- Plus, the reason should be neutral – never go to the names, personal characteristics of a man, and even more so do not compare him with anyone.
All this will make the conversation constructive and reasoned – a man thinks not so much with his heart as with his head, therefore it is worth reaching out to his mind. And in this case – only facts and only facts, no speculation and ambiguity – just like that.
How correctly and competently can a man be refused? For example, using the following phrases:
- I'm against workplace romance – it's a matter of principle.
- Sorry, but my heart is given to someone else. He will also suffer if I go to you.
- You are attractive, good-looking and handsome, but I don't like couch potatoes – there's nothing you can do about it.
And one more thing. To refuse and at the same time not offend – start the conversation with a compliment. Mark his courage and determination, strength and everything that makes him a good hero in any women's novel. And he will surely understand you and let you go, taking a piece of your love with him…
How do you stay friends when parting?!
