Communication is an ancient way of transmitting information in any form: written, oral, sign. People have always tried to be able to correctly build a line of conversation. And for each case, this line is different: employer – employee, parents – children, husband – wife. This can also include small talk or friendly chatter. All these conversations are subject to a certain algorithm, which is quite easy to follow. But there is a type of conversation that will always be all improvisation. This is “a young man – a girl”, communication on a first date.
Top of conversation
Like it or not, but you have to think over a topic for conversation. The scenario of the first date is usually the same. We met, said hello, went to a cafe and stupidly kept silent half the way. An exemplary dialogue is banal to the point of convulsions: “Hi, how are you? What did you do?” Not a conversation, but an interrogation with passion. But you can become a guide for 5 minutes and tell at least the story of the appearance of the street along which the route runs. If there is nothing special in the prospectus, tell about the history of the cuisine that should satisfy the gastronomic needs when visiting a cafe.
It is important not to fall into euphoria from your own knowledge, but to carefully monitor the reaction of the interlocutor. He may well not be interested, if only because he himself knows all this. Well, or not his wave. Then you need to quickly turn off the topic and try to develop another one.
Sometimes the counterpart himself starts some kind of conversation, and then an incident can happen: no knowledge, no interest. Then you should either gently translate the conversation, or start to take a keen interest and ask clarifying questions.
The right questions
Questions need to be asked. Otherwise, the conversation risks turning into an interrogation. It's really annoying. Questions should not be similar to questionnaire items. You can ask to tell funny cases related to professional activities. You can ask about interests or taste preferences. In general, questions should be easy and encouraging to develop some new topic.
About yourself
On the first date, you can and should briefly tell about yourself. But this story should not be an ode to yourself. 5 minutes is enough to talk about your short life and achievements. This narrative should be diluted with questions to the interlocutor, so that he not only listens to all this nonsense of the past, but also takes an active part. Then you won't have to be painfully silent, remembering another story.
Thought filter
Oh, that's the enemy of any first conversation. No, he, of course, should be, otherwise you can say all sorts of nonsense, after which you can not count on a second meeting. But at the same time, you need to filter your thoughts so that there are no stupid pauses in the conversation. In theory, the situation with filters from the category “make or break”. On the one hand, the partner gets to know each other as closely as possible at the very start, on the other hand, you can flip through your fate, if suddenly she decides that there is a complete moron nearby. So it is necessary to separate the wheat from the chaff, but not to the very limit.
Pause
No pause anywhere. This is a natural moment in any conversation. There is no need to be afraid of this. Moreover, a pause can be a great helper, because it allows you to gather your thoughts, take a break, start a new topic or help the interlocutor open up. The pause is intended to show that it is time for the partner to join the conversation. And then this is no longer a date, but some kind of monologue.
Listening
In a conversation, it is very important to be able to listen. Do not take out your phone at this moment and look for something there. A person speaks, which means you need to delve into the conversation, and not indulge in your own thoughts. In the course of the story, you should ask questions and insert interjections that will show keen interest. Everyone knows that interrupting is not good. But, if you can’t wait to insert your “5 cents”, then this should be done in the subject and only when the interlocutor has completed the story and paused.
Girls tend to complain about a bitter fate. This is one of the nuances of a first date conversation. And here you do not need to play the role of an arbitrator. It is better to offer your vision of the problem and try to jointly look for a way out of this situation. Then the girl will immediately feel the first messages of care and support.
Compliments
But you need to be careful with them. The first compliment, of course, sounds at the very beginning of the meeting. It can be clumsy and standard, but it needs to be said. This is basic etiquette. During the date itself, it is not worth throwing groans of delight. It's very tiring and smacks of insincerity. Just like “the cuckoo praises the rooster for the fact that he praises the cuckoo.” But at the end of the meeting, a compliment must be required. It should apply to everything at once: both to the person, and to the meeting itself, and to the conversation. This is also the etiquette of communication.
HOW TO BECOME A MASTER OF COMMUNICATION. Difficult dialogues. Communication skill.
