What do you know about men's sexual desires and experiences? Probably not as much as we would like. And no wonder, because most of the articles on the topic of sex concern exclusively women. To restore justice, the British edition of Metro collected first-hand stories about the loss of virginity: 6 guys honestly answer questions about the first experience.
Answers to difficult questions
- How old are you lost his innocence and under what circumstances? Did you date anyone at the time?
Mark: I was 17 when I lost my virginity. I remember I had just got home from the movies before it happened. My girlfriend was hanging out with her friends and didn't go to the movie with me, so we met at my house. We hung out for a bit and then slept together.
Stu: It happened when I was 17. Then I dated a girl who was my age. We met at a party with mutual friends, immediately got along very well, and after a couple of weeks we started dating. For a few more months, we only kissed and made out in the corners, and then decided that it was time. It was during the summer holidays, and we had to do it at my place, because her mother was a teacher and at that time she was constantly at home.
Stewart: I then turned 18 in a couple of months. On that day, my girlfriend and father and I went to an open day at the university, but I didn’t really want to go there, so we didn’t stay there for a long time. In the end, we returned home and everything happened there. We just felt the moment had come.
James: I was 13 and had my first sex on a park bench. I myself did not expect this, but the girl with whom we walked insisted … Actually, she was older than me and I think she was just bored.
Matt: I just turned 17 then and it was at my house. I slept with a girl we dated for a few months. Nothing special.
Alex: I lost my virginity at 21, in my third year at university. At that time, I had been in a relationship for about a year, but before that we had nothing. We wanted to get to know each other better before moving on to something more serious.
- Were you nervous your first time? What was it like?
Stu: We were both very nervous, but the whole process was very… gentle, or something. We even tried a few different positions and I remember being very worried if she came. I was so worried about it that I kept asking if she was okay. This, of course, spoiled the mood a little. But it was still nice, and after my girlfriend said she had come, I was able to relax and reach an orgasm too.
After sex, we lay in an embrace for a long time, and then we did it again. In fact, the most exciting moment was when I bought the condoms… For some reason, I felt like I was doing something forbidden, and I couldn't help feeling that I was about to be caught.
Alex: Internally, I was oh-so-very worried! It was the first time for both of us, and everything felt very special. Perhaps because I decided that my first sex will only be with a person who is truly important to me.
Stuart: Oh yes. It was my first sex and I had no idea what to do or how it even felt. And I also had a “fad” that I had to hold out as long as possible! I even bought special condoms for this, which reduce sensitivity. Now I understand that it was a bad idea: because of them, I could not finish for a long time, and my girlfriend began to worry that she was not good enough, and the whole process became less pleasant.
James: I didn't worry until it came down to the process itself. Everything happened very quickly, crumpled and as awkward as possible. I don't think she liked it, even so: I'm sure she was disappointed. Now I feel like losing my virginity so early was a mistake.
Mark: My girlfriend did her best to make me comfortable and not nervous. I remember looking (or so I thought) really cool when I took a condom out of my wallet and threw it on the bed next to her. It was exciting, but never unsettling.
Matt: I was nervous as hell! My girlfriend was no longer innocent, she lost her virginity to her ex, who was older and more experienced. And naturally it seemed vital to me to surpass him, so, as you can imagine, I set the bar pretty high for myself.
This was the first time she stayed with me all night. In fact, due to the fact that we were friends for a very long time, the atmosphere was not tense at all. But the sex itself was still awkward, mostly because I kept wondering if she was comparing me to her ex.
- Was losing your virginity something important to you? ? Maybe you, as a guy, felt some pressure due to the fact that you must definitely lose it?
Stu: There was no pressure among my peers. No one said that the sooner you lose your innocence, the cooler it is. I did it with my loved one when I saw fit.
Stewart: There was pressure, and more! I studied at a mixed boarding school, but the dormitories were separate. Just imagine being in the company of guys bragging about their sex exploits 24/7. Of course, I was jealous and felt embarrassed! I won't say that I ran to lose my virginity after these stories, but subconsciously it probably influenced my decision.
Alex: It was very important, I had no one before! I always thought that the first time should be special, with the person you love. That's probably why I never had the desire to run after everyone just to sleep with someone.
Matt: In my case, the pressure was just colossal, because for some reason I did not understand, my girlfriend and all our acquaintances were sure that I had not been a virgin for a long time. I don’t know where they got this from, I never lied about my experience, although I didn’t refute other people’s assumptions either. Probably all because of how confident I behaved. Plus I looked very athletic and flirted like a god!
Of course, my fame as a “Don Juan” was far from the truth, but my girlfriend found out the truth after our first sex. We chatted, lying in bed after everything, and then she admitted that she was very worried, what if I don’t like sex with her after other girls. You have no idea how relieved she felt when she found out that she was my first.
- Did you want to lose your virginity quickly or were you waiting for the right person?
Stu: I remember at that time we were more in a hurry to lose their virginity girls. Many of them specifically dated older and more experienced guys in order to have sex faster.
Mark: Of course, I wanted to lose my virginity as soon as possible, but this was not my main goal. Plus, I wanted to do this with the person I love so that our sex would be as enjoyable as possible.
Stuart: I wanted to wait for the right person, someone I would love and care for. Actually, the girl with whom I eventually lost my innocence fully corresponded to this description.
Matt: Both. Like any guy, I wanted to try sex as soon as possible, out of sheer curiosity and because I wanted to finally brag about it to my friends. But it so happened that the first sex I had was with a girl for whom I had strong feelings, and whom I dated for several more years.
- Do you think the loss of virginity for guys is the same important event like for girls? Why do you think so?
Stu: I think there's a lot of prejudice against first sex these days. In the sense that if you are a guy, you definitely need to lose your virginity as soon as possible, otherwise you will not be considered a man. And with girls, the situation is just the opposite: you slept until adulthood or before marriage, and that's it, the stigma of a whore is guaranteed for you.
I think this is wrong, all people should be able to enjoy sex, regardless of their gender. But information in the media is still presented in this way. This kind of injustice will only make you grit your teeth.
Stuart: I think so. Although it depends a lot on who you ask. I know girls who do not consider the loss of virginity something supernatural. In an equal society, this would be exactly the same event for both boys and girls. Personally, I try not to attach any great importance to virginity.
Matt: No, I don't think so. But in our world, there are a lot of expectations associated with first sex: guys are expected to be experienced and unemotional, because emotions are weakness. And vice versa for girls – that they will approach the choice of the first partner and other things with all responsibility.
Alex: For me, it doesn’t make any difference whether we are talking about the virginity of boys or girls. These are equally important things. Everyone has equal rights and control over their bodies, why should anyone feel superior when losing their virginity?
Mark: Given that for guys, the more partners the better, I don't think the loss of innocence is anything special. And by the way, I don't understand at all why the attitude towards girls in this question is just the opposite!
- What do you think What is the difference between male virginity and female virginity? Why do you think so?
Stu: Guys are supposed to brag about their sex exploits to their friends, but they don't really want to share those feelings that often. With girls it's different. Society has many expectations of them: they must look a certain way, behave a certain way, and so on. And for guys, all the expectations are made up of watching porn: they are waiting for anal, oral sex, cum on the face and other things.
Stewart: I think men and women experience virginity differently. It's like an attitude to the number of partners. If you are a guy and you had a lot of girls, then you are great and you will even be congratulated on this, but if you are a girl and the number of your guys is at least more than two – that's it, society will pour slops on you and consider you a girl of easy virtue.
< p> With virginity in the same way. The guy lost his virginity early, he — handsome. But if it was a girl, then only condemnation awaits her. And this is just a disgusting approach.
Matt: If an older guy is still a virgin, he's a useless, unattractive loser. If his first sex was at a young age, and since then he has had many partners, then he is almost an Apollo in the public understanding.
< p>With girls, everything is more complicated and much more unfair. If a girl keeps her innocence for a long time, she is boring, stiff and generally frigid. But if she loses her virginity too soon, she becomes too accessible. Whatever one may say, these stereotypes only widen the gap between men and women.
- Do you regret losing your virginity this way? Would you like to change something? And if so, what exactly?
Stu: Luckily, I don't regret anything. I lost my innocence at the right time with the right person. I wouldn't change anything except for my endless questions about whether my girlfriend had come. But it's important to know! Otherwise, what pleasure can I get from sex with my beloved?
Stuart: I do not regret anything in my life, I think that everything that happens is a kind of lesson. Although, if I had the opportunity, I would probably buy regular condoms, not those special ones.
James: To be honest, I don't really care how I lost my virginity. If I wanted to change anything, it would only be my skills in bed – you know, I would like to be a real stallion, not a helpless puppy.
Matt: Nah, no regrets. Unless I would have dispelled my then image of a sort of macho. It put too much pressure on both me and my girlfriend.
Mark: I don't regret anything! It was the best first experience ever. Everything went exactly as I imagined, largely thanks to my girlfriend and her ability to create the right atmosphere. Seriously, I wouldn't change anything even if I could.
Alex: I don't regret anything because my first sex made me feel needed and loved. It was a very difficult period in my life, and this experience helped me to feel hope again. I wouldn't trade it for anything else.
- What advice would you give guys who haven't lost their virginity yet?
James: I think it's too long with the loss of virginity is not worth it, because the older you get, the scarier it is to do it.
Stu: What can I say? If you want your first experience to be unforgettable, find “your” person, love and wait for the right moment. If she truly loves you, then she will feel good just from the feeling of closeness. In addition, girls are nervous in the same way, and worry about exactly the same things. Just enjoy.
Matt: For heaven's sake, don't lie about your previous sex exploits! The first time it will only interfere, believe me. Just let yourself go with the flow and don't use porn as a guide. That's not how real sex works!
Stewart: Don't give in to pressure from your friends and society that you should lose your virginity the sooner the better. Wait for the right moment and the person who will be special to you. Yes, sex is cool, but you know, it's much cooler with your loved one.
Alex: My main advice: treat your girlfriend with love and respect. Take your time, get to know her better first, and put in the effort to make this moment special. After all, it's a milestone for her too, and you're not the only one who's nervous.
18+ LOSS OF VIRGIN IN A GUY ♋ Sexvopros
